This is the creepiest cover ever...

This is seriously the creepiest f-ing cover in the world. I promise there is not some terrifying monster under there...oh wait that's probably exactly what it is.

I'm just writing to warn you that the 3.5th book in The Lunar Chronicles is coming out January 27th, so you should get started reading and catch up. Book one is Cinder and it's about Cinderella in the year 3000 or something and she's a cyborg. This is usually the point where people look at me like I'm a crazy YA fantasy reader who has no idea what a good book is. And there is absolutely zero way I can convince you otherwise and still talk about these books, because they are absolutely YA fantasy but they are also absolutely amazing and I'm more obsessed than I should be.

I keep telling myself that they aren't that great. I tried to not be excited about this book, in fact I was quite angry when I found out that instead of Winter (Book 4) we were getting Levana's origin story (Book 3.5??), but I'm a sucker for this series and I'm excited and I'm going to assume that we need this story to properly enjoy Winter when it comes out...supposedly November 24, 2015 which is in over a year. 

UGHHHHHHH. 

Netflix + Series of Unfortunate Events = The Best?

A Series of Unfortunate Events is coming to Netflix?

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

“I can’t believe it,” Snicket said from an undisclosed location. "After years of providing top-quality entertainment on demand, Netflix is risking its reputation and its success by associating itself with my dismaying and upsetting books."

I am so happy. If this is not real I am going to go cry. The worst thing about growing up was that, unlike J.K. Rowling, who wrote the Harry Potter series to grow up with us, Lemony Snicket wrote all 13 of his books for the same age group, so I grew out of them mid-series. Don't get me wrong, I eventually read all of them, but it is not the same to read A Series of Unfortunate Events as a 5th grader than it is after you've just read The Bell Jar in 9th grade. And you know it.

Lemony Snicket is the pen name of author Daniel Handler, who begins the series like this:

Dear Reader,

I'm sorry to say that the book you are holding in your hands is extremely unpleasant. It tells an unhappy tale about three very unlucky children. Even though they are charming and clever, the Baudelaire siblings lead lives filled with misery and woe. From the very first page of this book when the children are at the beach and receive terrible news, continuing on through the entire story, disaster lurks at their heels. One might say they are magnets for misfortune.

In this short book alone, the three youngsters encounter a greedy and repulsive villain, itchy clothing, a disastrous fire, a plot to steal their fortune, and cold porridge for breakfast.

It is my sad duty to write down these unpleasant tales, but there is nothing stopping you from putting this book down at once and reading something happy, if you prefer that sort of thing.

With all due respect,

Lemony Snicket

The series is deliciously smart and dark and funny. You should read them. The movie was pretty horrible which was sad because Jim Carey and Meryl Streep and a bunch of other fabulous people were in it. It's a testament to the books and my laziness that I sometimes still watch it, as I no longer own the books. I did, however, read a picture book by Lemony Snicket awhile ago.

Hopefully your reading will go better than the last time I picked up a book just because they made a TV show out of it, "so it must be good." 

Found the news here/on the facebook.
Or you can read about it on NPR, where I found out that they don't even have a director yet so don't get too excited!

Hyperbole and a Half available for pre-order!

I hope this is the cover*.

Should this be exciting? I don't know, I LIKE to have things to look forward to. Gives life some extra pizzazz, yes?

Anywho, if you've been living under a rock for the past couple years and don't know, Hyperbole and a Half is an online comic with long-form stories sprinkled with adorable comics, mostly featuring crazy things that have happened to the comic, Allie Brosh. I love it. She doesn't post all that often, but it's always epic. Her last post was one of the most beautiful and funny things I've ever read, about her last year battling depression. I cried, and laughed, and my heart grew three sizes that day.

October 29, 2013. Be prepared world. Be prepared.
I just pre-ordered mine. It's currently #2 on the Amazon Bestseller list. Second only to, you guessed it The Cuckoo's Calling.

Speaking of which, like I mentioned, I like to be excited about things. I like anticipation. I like to plan things out. I am really upset that J. K. Rowling has had a book out for half a year and I just found out. I'm busy Jo. I can't read your book, I have a stack 7 high. But I want to.

In case you're keeping score, They solved the mystery of the anonymous tweet (probably). Apparently one of Jo's lawyer's wife's best friends is the culprit. Not any of her kids. I'm disappointed. So is Jo, ""I had assumed that I could expect total confidentiality from Russells, a reputable professional firm and I feel very angry that my trust turned out to be misplaced." 

*it's not.

J.K. Rowling has a new book!

Well, I have a stack of books as tall as me that I want to read but it looks like a new one has risen to the top of the list.

Published in April under pseudonym Robert Galbraith and receiving some acclaim, it was recently revealed that J. K. Rowling was in fact the author. She sounds a bit sad that the pseudonym only lasted this long, but apparently there will be a new book in the series next year!

"I had hoped to keep this secret a little longer because being Robert Galbraith has been such a liberating experience. It has been wonderful to publish without hype or expectation and pure pleasure to get feedback under a different name." -Jo on being found out

Clearly I was not the first to figure it out. I went to my trusty library and there are already over 100 hold requests on six copies.

Anyone read it before it became famous?

I found the news here after my friend Kristina Horner posted it to her facebook.

Bonus: have a picture of Jo
looking like a Hogwarts teacher

Pottermore article "How J.K. Rowling Was Uncovered as the Author of "The Cuckoo's Calling"
 "The newly released crime novel, The Cuckoo’s Calling, was believed to be written by ex British Army officer Robert Galbraith until yesterday, when the Sunday Times broke a story that is arguably one of the greatest literary cover-ups ever and a mystery that’s as intriguing as a detective story."

NY Times This Detective Novel’s Story Doesn’t Add Up
"“The Cuckoo’s Calling,” in which a war veteran turned private detective investigates the possibly suspicious suicide of a young model in London, made barely a ripple in the commercial world but received lavish praise. "

According to the NY Times, it was an anonymous Twitter account that first said Jo was the actual author of The Cuckoo's Calling. My money's on one of her kids as an act of rebellion.
Jessica: Mom, buy me a house.
Jo: No honey, my new book isn't selling that well. After Casual Vacancy I may never have another best seller* so we have to make smart investments.
Jessica: Fine
(JESSICA runs upstairs to her room, slams the door, and makes a Twitter account)
Jessica: Now she'll have no excuses.

*I don't actually think this. I also have no idea if her daughter still lives at home. This is a joke. I hope Jessica doesn't get grounded for my lowly accusations. haha. Like J.K.Rowling would ever read my blog. BUT WHO KNOWS, Lynn Cullen liked my review of The Creation of Eve on Goodreads, so I'm basically famous.