The Silkworm (4.5), Robert Galbraith

If you know anything about me (besides that I read, I guess) it’s that I am not a morning person. I say this because it is important to the further understanding of this review. When I wake up, I am a demon Jana from another planet. I might bite your head off for asking me how my morning’s going. I’ve burst into tears just because I didn’t want to be awake. I’m basically a four-year-old until I’ve had coffee.

On Monday at 5am I woke up with a start. A few weeks ago I slept through my alarm and missed an hour and a half of class so and I’m still a little nervous every time I wake up that I’ve forgotten something very important. But after a quick glance at my phone’s calendar, I fall back asleep no problem. Except on the 17^th I woke up and went, “Crap! I fell asleep! The Silkworm’s due today. Did they take it off my Kindle already?” and in a panic I unlocked my Kindle. And instead of going back to sleep, I finished reading the book. I just had to know who did it!

“The whole world’s writing novels, but nobody’s reading them.”

- The Silkworm

The Silkworm is the second in the Cormoran Strike series by Robert Galbraith/J.K.Rowling. Feel free to go read about book one, TheCuckoo’s Calling if you want to hear more about that and don’t want me to spoil a couple things. I liked this book infinitely more than the first one, probably because I finally let go of Strike being grown up muggle Harry Potter. It was hard.

Strike's more like Mad Eye, really.

In The Silkworm, Strike’s rise to fame after solving Lula Landry’s murder in The Cuckoo’s Calling is finally starting to ebb, and so is his patience with his endless stream of rich, spoiled clients hiring him to spy on their spouses and lovers. When Leonora Quine, the mousy, frazzled wife of author Owen Quine, asks Strike to find her wandering husband, he accepts gladly. Owen Quine is a reclusive and eccentric author, and has been known to disappear for days on end to work on a novel or shack up with a mistress, but he has been gone for an exceptional amount of time and Mrs. Quine is beginning to run out of money.

If you haven’t hopped on the Robert Galbraith/J. K. Rowling bandwagon, you probably should. There are only two books now, but you can bet there are going to be dozens more. Knowing how Rowling likes to write, you can bet that there’s some little details in books 1 and 2 that are going to make all the difference and have a huge payout in like book 16 because that’s what she does.

SOS There is no news that she is writing a third book. Where is my third book Jo? I may not wait five years like I did for Order of the Phoenix. I may find a new favorite author. Jk I will read everything Rowling writes because I’m obsessed.

 

Harry Potter forever

More Books

fans of Harry

fans of Galbraith

something old

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American Gods (5), Neil Gaiman

Shadow is days away from being released from prison. Days away from seeing his beloved wife Laura when he gets the phone call. His wife has died in a car crash with is best friend at the wheel. But time ticks on and Shadow is still released from prison, but where to go? What’s the point anymore? Enter Mr. Wednesday, who hires Shadow to do…odd jobs. Like, really odd jobs.

(Spoiler alert?) Mr. Wednesday is old. Like, centuries old. Like, used to be a god worshipped by thousands. When settlers came to America, they brought their gods with them. Now, these abandoned gods are left to live as best they can, hunted by the new gods.

This book was crazy. I don’t even feel like I can rate it because I feel like if I give it less than a five it means I didn’t “get it” the way everyone else did. It was also super weird to read after The Ocean at the End of the Lane which feels so innocent and simple by comparison. American Gods is dense and awesome. If you’re ready to hibernate for the winter with a giant, creepy book, this one’s for you.

Fun fact, Neil Gaiman was on NPR's Ask Me Another last week. It was hilarious and reminded me about how adorable his British accent is. I wish he read all of the audiobooks I listen to. He also mentioned that, when people ask him what American Gods is about, he replies, "oh, it's a big book," because he doesn't really know how to explain it. Which makes me feel a lot better. 

This is a super belated post, this is the book I read before The Bloodletter's Daughter, I'm trying to play catch up! 

Previous Reads 

Eleanor & Park

The Bloodletter's Daughter

Outlander

Mr. Penumbra's 24-Hour Bookstore (4)

After starting and - not abandoning, but - shelving the last four books I picked up, I didn't know if I could like any books. Maybe I’d read all the books I would like in my life. It was over. I might as well go re-read Game of Thrones*. Then Harry Potter. Then Hunger Games. And perhaps start all over again.

I was sold by the end of the first page.

“I’d sit at my kitchen table and start scanning help-wanted ads on my laptop, but then a browser tab would blink and I’d get distracted and follow a link to a long magazine article about genetically modified wine grapes…”

You sir, understand me. I will read your book.

Mr. Penumbra’s 24-Hour Bookstore is a book for nerds. So many of us are nerds these days, with the rise of Microsoft and Google and the Internet you need to be a nerd to make a living. This book takes nerds and the things they love and combine them into your tale-as-old-as-time Hero Quest. Its light, and lovely, and sweet.

It's about kids who play a lot of D&D

Clay Jannon is a young web designer living in San Francisco who has just been laid off. To break the monotony of idly searching for jobs, he takes long walks. And one fateful day he wanders down the wrong street at the right time and spies a help wanted ad. So begins his journey at the 24-Hour Bookstore. The patrons are strange. Really strange. And he has to keep a log of what they get (they never seem to pay, but each has a membership card) and also what they looked like and how they appeared to be feeling.

Thus starts your hero quest. What are these books? What language are they even written in? He brings in his best friend and his love interest and together they are off to find a path to immortality. 

Now I think I need to go read a book that’s thick and long and breaks my heart. Because that’s what I like to do with my time.

*Yes, I know it’s called A Song of Ice and Fire. But no one calls it that. No one but you and me, friend. No one but you and me. 

Memoirs of an Imaginary Friend (5) - Matthew Dicks

If I really, really like a book I find myself still thinking like the narrator after I've finished their story. Which sounds crazy, but I'm an actor, remember? I loved the narrator, Budo, and I devoured this book fast enough that he totally got into my head.

Budo is Max’s imaginary friend. He’s real, but invisible to everyone but Max, and the other imaginary friends he meets. But he has his own emotions, his own thoughts, he can even leave the house and go on his own adventures. He is also the oldest imaginary friend he’s ever met, because Max needs him more than other kids.

I loved this book. It was beautiful and arresting, I loved the characters and I simply couldn’t put this book down.

Budo is obsessed with death. Mostly his own death, because if Max ever stops believing in him, Budo will die. He will fade away until he disappears completely. The novel revolves around this idea, of reality, and of death. Budo is lucky because he can walk through doors, and Max lets him roam around the school. Budo has his own best friend, an imaginary girl named Graham. Budo is also lucky that he looks so much more human than some imaginary friends: such as Puppy, the dim-witted imaginary friend of a kindergartener, Wooly, who looks a lot like Flat Stanley and can’t walk, or Klute, who looks like a bobble head. It is sweet, and funny, and sad, and beautiful.

There is also a thrilling bit after Max gets kidnapped and Budo has to figure out how to save him before Max is taken away forever.

This book has been compared to The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time, which I also loved and remember reading in approximately one sitting. 

A Walk Across the Sun (4)

"If thou has not seen the devil, look at thine own self." -A Walk Across the Sun

I’m not going to lie, I wrote a review of this book with 100 pages to go and came thisclose to putting this book down and walking away. I’ll make sure it’s in here somewhere if you want to listen to a weird rant. I whined to my roommates about how I just wanted to walk away from the book. I had a snack. I sat down. And after three more pages I was riveted. Like, don’t-move-a-muscle-except-to-wipe-away-your-tears riveted.

Here’s my initial reaction: (100 pages to go)

This book was interesting but the writing felt very pedestrian after reading Diaz’s This is How You Lose Her. It felt long. I mean, I read Game of Thrones in a week. This felt long. I semi-lost interest two-thirds of the way through but kept plodding along because I couldn’t just abandon it. I got it from the library. I have to give it back. I have no problem abandoning books I actually own, which is weird now that I think of it. Shouldn’t I care more about the books I actually spent money on? Well, sure, but I got it for $3 at Half-Priced Books, so it’s not a complete loss.

A Walk Across the Sun is the tale of two sisters, Ahalya and Sita Ghai, orphaned after a tsunami in their native India and sold into the sex trade; and the man, Thomas Clarke who is trying to rescue them and fix his marriage. Chapters flip between Ahalya, Sita, and Thomas' perspectives with a slightly distorted timeline that left me a bit confused. I’m not dumb enough to be confused about if the current chapter happened before or after the previous chapter. I didn't get confused during Game of Thrones, did I? (No, I didn't) George R. R. Martin is the master at weaving all of those plot lines together, and he has approximately 1 billion characters to keep track of. Across continents. Get it together, Corban. 

The biggest problem with A Walk Across the Sun  was that I couldn’t feel what the characters were feeling. I felt more empathy towards Yunior*, and we all know how I felt about him. In fact, I care more about Cersei Lannister** then I do about these characters, and I hate Cersei way more than Yunior. The only character I’ve hated more than Cersei was Professor Umbridge*** and at least she got what was coming to her. More or less.

What I did like was that Addison explained the world to me. My last cross-cultural excursion made me feel relatively confused since I didn’t understand several of the words on each page, but Addison explained everything to me very concisely. At least he didn’t make me feel stupid.

It didn’t suck. But there are probably better books out there. Let me know if you need help finding one. I’ve found like 20 I want to read while procrastinating finishing this one. I may also just be ADD about how many books I want to read and not letting myself fully immerse myself in the story of the book. Perhaps if I had tried to savour this book instead of devour it, I would have liked it better.

After the last 100 pages

Yes, there was almost a hundred pages in the middle that were Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix painful. Yes, that probably means it was a bit too long. But the end was perfect. I cried. I won’t tell you if they were happy tears or sad tears or both but I like crying over books because I’m a masochist.

I’m so glad I didn’t give up on it.

*This is How You Lose Her, Junot Diaz – beautiful prose, horrible main character. Kind of like Cersei.

**Game of Thrones, George R. R. Martin - get with the program. It will only take you between four months & two years to get through all five books, judging by the length of times it has taken me my two roommates. My friend Liz read the first book in 2 days, but she's crazy. It took me four months to get through A Feast for Crows alone, because of Cersei’s chapters. Stay strong my friends, it gets better.

***Harry Potter and the Order of the Pheonix, J.K. Rowling - it is unforgivable that you did not know that. You just crucio-ed my heart.  And you don’t even know what that means

A Grown-Up Kind of Pretty (4.5)

 I thought I was going to hate this book. I literally only got it from the library because it was on the Goodread's Choice list from last year. And I figured I didn't have to finish it if it was as dumb as it sounded. The title, the cover, the author's name (Joshilyn? What is this, 19 and counting?) all annoyed me. The book "is a powerful saga of three generations of women, plagued by hardships and torn by a devastating secret, yet inextricably joined by the bonds of family." (Goodreads book description). Kill me. Please.

But I gave it a chance out of sheer desperation. And it was Gone Girl kind of page turner, but with more likeable characters. I was hooked by page 3. Yes, 15-year-old Mosey Slocumb deserves to be slapped for her teenage use of the English language. But seeing the story from her, her mother Lisa, and grandmother Jenny's points of view was a perfect balance.

Slight spoiler alert (like chapter 3): while building a pool in the backyard they find a dead baby buried under Lisa's favorite willow tree. Here's the spoiler...it's Mosey. No, Mosey isn't some weird ghost we're following around for a third of the book. She's real too, but she's not Lisa's biological daughter.

definitely not 19 & counting

Lisa ran away when she was 15 and Mosey was a few weeks old. Jenny assumed that Lisa had run off with Mosey, but real-Mosey was buried in the backyard and Lisa went on a drug-addled tour of the US and came back with a new Mosey. That is what this book is about. Who is Mosey? How did real Mosey die? Can they keep this secret from the town or are Lisa and Jenny going to be prosecuted for murder?

And did I mention that Lisa had a stroke so she can't actually talk to anyone about what is going on? Her chapters are a rollercoaster through the past, revealing piece by piece what really happened while Mosey and Jenny try to figure everything out on their own.

And yes, Mosey knows she's not real-Mosey, and Jenny knows...but both are trying to hide this information from the other, which leads to...

I'm not telling you that. Go read the book.

upcoming books

I think the biggest problem with this book is that it was billed as fiction and sounded like it was going to be some sort of family bonding story, and I felt like it read more like a mystery. Perhaps if it had been billed as mystery/suspense it would have gotten more attention? 

I liked this book so much I have to restrain myself from binge-reading everything Joshilyn Jackson has ever written. Because I do that, but then I get sick of them and never want to read them again (Dan Brown, prime example. J.K. Rowling only exception). Instead I put a hold on her next book. Which is coming out in November. Which would be super pathetic but I'm actually 7th in line. Six people thought of this before me. I am a failure.

The Creation of Eve (4)

I was just in Moon Over Buffalo, which was delightful, but I had 30 pages offstage in Act 2, so I desperately needed a book, but I haven’t been having any luck. Basically, I’ve been going through this phase where I don’t want to read on my Kindle. I know! Quel horreur. I seriously wish there was a way that I could have a physical copy and a Kindle copy of every book. The world would be a better place if books could be ripped like CDs.

the only time Eileen smiled in the entire show

 Anywho, it was Friday, I was about to go to my show, and I had enough time to go to the library, but not enough time to actually think through what I was going to get from the library. I put several things on hold, but none that were physically at the library and I needed something, so I just started walking down the aisles. All I knew was that I wanted a satisfying love story. Like Pride and Prejudice level satisfying but without all the work of reading a classic novel.

I picked up many books before The Creation of Eve. Mostly they were the one’s on display. Nothing sounded good. The Creation of Eve looked pretty. Maybe a little like Girl with a Pearl Earring, which I liked. And printed across bottom-right on the cover were two words: “enormously satisfying” – Sara Gruen, author of Water for Elephants. Sold.

Sofonisba "Sofi" Anguissola is a student of Michelangelo when she falls in love with Tibero, her fellow student. After they are caught alone together, Sofi runs home, hoping that he will send for her. Instead, the King of Spain invites Sofi to be lady-in-waiting and painting teacher to his third wife, 15-year-old Catherine de Medici. Sofi quickly becomes Catherine's closest friend and sole confidant, and Sofi helps the young queen to learn how to make Felipe happy. Meanwhile, Felipe's sole child Carlos begins to fall in love with the queen. And the queen has her eye on a courtier...

I am a sucker for good historical fiction and what I will call "tasteful romance novels" and this satisfied my need for a love story with real heart. I loved Sofi, I loved the impetuous queen, and I wanted desperately for them to each get everything they wanted.

Lynn Cullen crafted this book well, weaving dramas and flushing out the facts of history into a beautiful story. I wished that the novel had lasted to a more satisfactory ending, as Cullen unfortunately had to stick to the facts, but only the best books leave you wishing that there were more pages to come.

If you like Philippa Gregory, you will LOVE this book. I would compare it most to The Virgin's Lover, because that one felt the most well balanced. I think I have to contain myself from reading everything Lynn Cullen has ever written and burning myself out and never wanting to read her again. 

And if you haven’t read Girlwith a Pearl Earring, go read that too. And The Lady and the Unicorn. Both by Tracy Chevalier. Maybe I just really like books based on paintings. I wonder if there’s one about the Mona Lisa? Oooh, I loved Da Vinci Code.

Has anyone read the new Dan Brown? Should I bother? Or is it as bad as The Lost Symbol (#3)? Anyone?

The Tiger's Wife, Téa Obreht (3.5)

"Everything necessary to understand my grandfather lies between two stories, the story of the tiger’s wife, and the story of the deathless man. These stories run like secret rivers through all the other stories of his life — of my grandfather’s days in the army; his great love for my grandmother; the years he spent as a surgeon and a tyrant of the University."  -The Tiger's Wife

I’ve been having a really hard time writing this review for some reason. I really liked it, and I feel like it’s similar to a lot of books I’ve liked, but I can’t really put my finger on why. What do I have to say besides “I like when a book is in the present, but weaves together stories of the past along with some mystic tale that may or may not be true.”

The story follows Natalia, a young doctor travelling with her friend Zόra to give immunizations to orphans. Just after she arrives, she is struck with the news that her beloved grandfather has passed away. The story weaves Natalia’s memories of her grandfather, stories he has told her, and her current journey.

The novel is both slow and gentle and teaming with love, loss, and adventures with a tiger. Moments like this were beautiful:

“After following him through dark, empty streets, suddenly she sees what he sees: an elephant, a refugee from a defunct circus, being walked to the city’s embattled zoo. “None of my friends will ever believe it,” she exclaims in regret. “You must be joking,” her grandfather replies, rebuking her: “The story of this war — dates, names, who started it, why — that belongs to everyone. Not just the people involved in it, but the people who write newspapers, politicians thousands of miles away, people who’ve never even been here or heard of it before. But something like this — this is yours. It belongs only to you. And me. . . . You have to think carefully about where you tell it, and to whom. Who deserves to hear it?”

 I was surprised to see so much wisdom in a novel written by a 27-year-old. If she could write something of this magnitude, perhaps I should go back to one of my abandoned novels. Perhaps I could do something this great. Critics love this book. 

However, there is so much happening that I’m not entirely sure I came away with a great sense of what the novel accomplished…or what even happened. Characters die as they do in real life, leaving a gaping hole and without delivering purpose to the plot. Death does not tie a pretty bow around the ending of the novel, and yet death is present throughout the book.

I think what has bothered me about this book, and what has kept me from reviewing it, was that I didn’t feel that the story was finished. I enjoyed reading it, and desperately wanted to give it a five star review (I want to give everything a five star review, but have to remind myself that 3 can mean that I liked it, and I should save 5 for the Harry Potter's of the literary world) but I also realized that I had so many unanswered questions, which made me feel stupid. Had I really read the book so quickly that I had no idea how everything came together? Did I miss something? I felt stupid. How could I give you a review about a book I didn’t feel that I understood? And worse yet, how could I tell you that I loved said book, when I could barely tell you what happened?

So here is my review: read it. It’s a good read. Then tell me what you think. Let me know if you understood the great point of this novel. My copy went back into the internet-library before I could re-read or review it. Perhaps next year I will revisit it and try to figure out what happened myself. Leave me a note if you have any idea what happened.

Follow me on Goodreads  if you want to know what book I'm currently reading!

**giant, major spoilers ahead – here’s a picture to keep you from peeking**

Tiger's don't like peeking.

I feel like I would have liked the book better if in the end Natalia had encountered the deathless man, Gavran Gailé, instead of leaving the myth out of the present. One the one hand, I like that the myth remained a myth, but on the other I wish 

We Need to Talk About Kevin (5)

            This was one of the posts that I had started for this weeks blog post, and I tried to choose another post to finish, because I felt like I was doing the thing that I myself blamed the media for doing – capitalizing off of the Sandy Hook Elementary shooting. The problem is I’m having a hard time writing about anything else.

            I reacted, as most of us did, to the news on Friday with a gut-wrenching call to blame…everybody. We need mental health reform, I cried along with everyone else, and more gun regulation! How did our law makers allow this to happen? But therein lies the problem. While we can try to blame parents, guardians, and other mentors for not being there for this troubled young man, we can blame congress for not regulating everything, we can blame the media for making these horrible incidents infamous. However, the blame can only lie with the perpetrator of this heinous act. And the hardest part is that we may never know why he did it.

            So I offer this novel to all those asking questions and seeking answers. It won’t answer your questions necessarily and may instead raise more, but I think this novel is important and I think it has given us some idea of what its like to really deal with a broken child.

            We Need to Talk About Kevin, is narrated by Eva, whose son Kevin killed seven of his high school classmates, a cafeteria worker, and a beloved teacher two days before his sixteenth birthday. Two years after the incident, Eva discusses her thoughts and feelings through a series of letters to her estranged husband, Franklin. She has stayed in the town her son traumatized as her own personal penance.

            I found this book devastating and sort of beautiful. Eva cannot forget what Kevin has done, and has shouldered some of the blame, wondering where in Kevin’s life she had so ruined him that he would be driven to this act of destruction.  

Auditions & Bossypants (4.5)

            Let’s take a break from the sad books, or books that make me sad because I hate them. Who doesn’t need a good laugh in the darkness of the brink of winter solstice? This book is like a happy lamp for your soul. Especially if you are working in the arts and need to know that everyone hates themselves as much as you hate yourself after a bad audition.

Personal anecdote time: (If you came here just for a book review, just go ahead and skip this. If you came here because you are my friend, read on!)

Speaking of bad auditions…I keep posting on my facebook wall “going to _____!” Why, why, WHY do I keep doing this? It inevitably leads to a string of “break a legs!” and “how did it go?” that, while heartfelt and wonderful, mean that I have to relive every horrible moment of some soul-crushing experience.

            Not that all auditions are soul-crushing, by any means. Often I leave an audition feeling like I nailed it, knowing that if I don’t get the role it’s because of some redhead or brunette or 5’ 10” girl that also wowed them and was the look they wanted.

            Yesterday was another story. Yesterday I had my first audition that I had to flash my fancy brand-new “Equity Membership Candidate” card (EMC). It was at Intiman, and I spent the entire Sunday night singing my songs, picking out the best piece, and researching all four of their plays. I watched their welcome video. I pulled up my resume and edited and printed and edited and printed until I just stared out the inadequacy of my credentials.

            I went into the auditions feeling confident, but terrified. My pieces were solid, my voice was in good shape, and it wasn’t like there was some perfect part for me, if I just showed them something awesome maybe they could find me a chorus role. Fourth wife on the left in Lysistra would have been fine by me if that’s what they wanted.

            I walked in, and they were SO NICE. Introduced themselves, shook my hand, smiled at me, and genuinely looked interested in seeing my work.

            I tanked. Oh lord how I tanked. I don’t remember breathing, and by the time I left the room I was shaking, literally, from head to toe. Maybe finger to toe would be a more apt description, but you get my point. I could barely change from my character shoes to my boots because I couldn’t stand on one foot.

            Apart from the fact I didn’t breathe and I croaked out the first note of my song like a frog and I wanted to die, I might have done ok. And actually, it felt kind of good realizing that I cared enough to be so terrified. Every time I tell someone how the audition went, they try to make me feel better. Which is sweet, I absolutely appreciate the sentiment, but honestly I don’t feel bad about it. I feel like yes, this is what I want to do, and it terrifies me and excites me in ways that I can barely explain. I love it. Even when I tank, I love that I prepared as best I could and knew I could do better, if only I wasn’t so scared. Because that fear will go away. I’ll sing in front of more people and eventually it’ll feel the same as when I sing alone in my basement.

Oh yeah, we were talking about Tina Fey, weren’t we?

I don’t read a lot of nonfiction because I like to read a solid plot with solid characters. If I know how it ends, I don’t care about reading it nearly as much. Tina Fey’s Bossypants starts out chronicling her early life including her struggling acting career. While, as an actor, it is nice to see that even Tina Fey once struggled with her career, I also know that she’s going to make amazing things happen, so half of me completely gets every moment of panic, and half of me just doesn’t by it.

            Tina Fey is just as hilarious as you’d expect, her anecdotes are funny, but I find her lack of self confidence both adorable and annoying. Part of me thinks, hey, you have an Emmy-award winning show running 7 seasons, shut. up. And part of me is happy to know that I’m not the only one who suffers these cripping moments of artistic lack of self-worth.

            That being said, by the end of the book I wanted nothing more than to grow up to be exactly like Tina Fey. She is fierce, funny, and overall a normal person who works very hard at doing what she loves. It was inspiring reading her journey from a young girl hanging out with the theater weirdos to playing with the big boys and producing her own show. I loved that she struggled with everything that woman in the arts struggle with. How do you balance a family with a 80-hour-a-week schedule? Are you screwing up your child? If you have a second one, will you completely derail your career? 

            I often read this book before an audition, because it made me happy instead of stressed and it also gave me a huge sense of empowerment being a woman in the arts. Thank you, Tina Fey, for showing me that this journey is full of many, many bumps but is in the end, worth it, and a hilarious ride.

           

                                                

The Casual Vacancy (4.5)

   I’m obsessed with the Harry Potter series. I’ve read each of those books more times then is ok to admit. I grew up with them, and because of this I feel a little like I know J.K. Rowling. I sometimes refer to her as “Jo” and I was so excited that she was writing a new book. In my mind, the worst case scenario was that it would be a total flop and she would go back to writing Harry Potter novels.

            From the start, I was hooked. Casual Vacancy was as un-Potterish as it is possible to be. J.K. Rowling used the word “cunt” and talked about an erection. WHAT? Who is this author??

            Casual Vacancy has the most unusual and dynamic cast of characters, each of them tragic in their own way. This is not a happy romp through an idyllic town but rather a town masking the war brewing underneath the surface. No, not Voldemort, this war is about ideals, money, and hidden desires. In a sense, this book is about the Dursley’s life, if Harry Potter did not exist. In fact, you might think Dudley Dursley is a much sweeter kid than Fats, one of the major players in Casual Vacancy.

            If you can muddle through how quickly Jo switches character point of view, sometimes mid-paragraph, and begin to make sense of her writing style, if you can find it in your heart to root for some of these tragic, broken people, than you will read a book that takes you on the emotional ride of your life.

I have a habit of reading some sad books, so this was totally up my alley. If Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire broke your heart, then this book might be a little too intense for you.  

If you wanted to know what was really going on in some of those empty classrooms in Hogwarts, or how the Dursley’s fit in with normal society, and enjoy books that are not action/adventure/mystery but a bit of a slow build, then you’ll love The Casual Vacancy.

Next week: a plug and a book review, all in one!

50 Shade of Grey

            Imagine you picked up this book not knowing what you were getting yourself into.

            I was at work, as a waitress and it was a very, very slow day. So I wanted to download some book to read on my phone until it got busy again. I went to Amazon’s top sellers and I saw all three 50 Shades of Grey books on display. For some reason unknown to me now, I didn’t read the synopsis. I saw that it was supposed to be like Twilight, which may not have been high literary art, but I had found very entertaining.

            I assumed since 50 Shades of Grey was like Twilight, it was about a werewolf, since Twilight was about vampires. I read enough to know he had a dark secret.

            Innocently I downloaded the book and began to read. I thought the writing was somewhat annoying, there was a little too much detail about what was going on in Ana’s mind but she seemed like a strong, independent, smart woman. A bit stupid about boys but she seemed to be really holding out for the right one.

            And then she meets Christian Grey, your typical aloof mega-hottie that for some reason seems to be interested in this normal girl. You get that a lot in your average chick lit. There’s a lot of that being sucked into his eyes ridiculousness that you get in Twilight, but I was entertained. I was rooting for them.

            (Here’s where my story starts to get a bit spoiler-alert-y. I won’t tell you how it ends, but if you want to know absolutely nothing about the story going into it, you might want to stop reading.)

            So they’re super into each other, but Christian is against it for some reason. Because he’s a werewolf, I thought. Makes sense. He doesn’t want to eat her or something on the full moon.

Christian brings Ana back to his super nice Seattle pad, and since he’s super rich, he needs her to sign a non-disclosure agreement. Of course he doesn’t want her to tell the world he’s a werewolf, right? Makes sense.

And then he brings her to this room, to show her his secret. There are chains and weird things in it, and a really big, ornate bed in the center. OF COURSE, I thought, because he’s a werewolf. He needs to get chained up once a month.

Christian Grey is not a werewolf. And he wants Ana to sign a freaking contract so she can be his sex slave and get chained up whenever he wants. In the contract it specifies how she can dress, what she can eat, how often she has to work out and how often he expects her to come over whenever he wants her to.

And here’s the thing, she was not into that. And she didn’t seem to like being tied up while they had sex. She wanted to be able to touch him and see him. So I assumed the book might be about her changing him, Beauty and the Beast style.

Someone told me she signs the contract.

So I put the book down and never picked it back up.

I think I would have liked it better if it was about a werewolf.

I promise next week I'll tell you about a book I actually like. Probably this one: